Stef's Place: Everyday Stuff

Happy Holidays

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 16:57:13 GMT

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Got a scare on Monday

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 19:41:40 GMT

Monday I got a call from an aunt saying:

Aunt: "Your mom is at the hospital... can you come quick?"

Me: "Hospital?! What's wrong?"

Aunt: "I think it was a heartattack.."

So... yeah. I got in the car and went to the hospital... of course thinking the worse, and hoping that I would make it there in time. In time for what? I dunno... wasn't thinking that far ahead.

When I got there they told me they thought it might have been a stroke, but she was doing "better" then when she first got there. By midnight, she was still feeling sick and a bit dizzy... but all the other symptoms were gone and the doctor didnt' really have any explanation for what had happened.

Spent the last couple of days with mom to make sure she was feeling better and whatnot. Won't go into details about what exactly happened that she went to the hospital, but it was scary none the less. Mom seems ok now, but would feel better if there was a valid explanation for what happened. So yeah... that's where I've been for the last couple of days. Everything seems ok now though.

Snow!!

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 19:19:33 GMT

Snow is coming down... and doesn't look like it's stopping anytime soon. It was snowig heavy when I woke up at 7:00AM and it's now 3:00PM and it's still going. I cleaned off my car and shoveled the driveway at 12:00... went to get a coffee... after my car was warmed up there was NO SNOW on it at all... now 3 hours later... it looks like this...

Should I complain? What's the point? How many people complain about snow? Too many to count. Winter is officially here!! Meh. Before this snowfall there was like no snow at all. We made it to December. Some people are going to complain... but we should be happy... Global Warming is destroying the planet and it's a sign of it... blah blah blah. The snow's here... rejoice kids!! Remember not to eat yellow snow however... wich brings up the question... is white snow really all that good for you in the first place? Anyways... I want all over the place in that last paragraph.

The thing I hated most about winter was getting up in the mornings and trying to make it to work before a single plow had started cleaning the streets. I work as IT Support... so rain or shine I have to go to work... but this year... THIS year is different! I work from home now!!! MUhahahaha. The only thing that would make me go out in shitty weather during the week is... well... Tim Hortons... and actually that's pretty powerfull right there.

Worked in Saint John today...

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 19:59:27 GMT

While driving up to Saint John this morning... it occured to me that the term "passing lane" is hard for some people to grasp.

Nuff F'n Said

Random Stuff

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 13:21:33 GMT

So yeah... been really busy lately.

Work, personal stuff... ect.

Work's been busy... nothing to complain about though. So I'll leave it at that.

There's a few things that I've been trying to work out... some things that will change my life a little. It's going to piss some people off, but I got to thinking... the people who'll be pissed off over it... well they're self-absorbed assholes that don't give a shit about me or me being happy anyways, so why should I care what they think? Am I bitter? No... I'm just tired of being the "nice guy" through all this shit.

Example: I did something a few years ago to help out someone I cared about... turns out that was a mistake... a huge mistake. A mistake that I'm paying for right now, and that's preventing me from moving on with certain things that I'd like to do in the very near future. And ya know what? That other person doesn't give a shit about it.

Another example... people that were suppose to be caring... that are suppose to be adults with life experiences and all that shit... turns out they're just a couple of childish backstabbing assholes. Talking to people behind my back and all this other shit... while what do I do? I just keep my mouth shut. I could have taken the low road and just blad to everyone about what really happened, but no... I kept my mouth shut... played the part of the "good guy" and ya know what? It didn't give me anything. Nothing at all. Bah.

Ok so I ranted a little. Yes... I'm allowed to do that every now and then. Blow off some steam.

So... anyways... now I'm taking a step back... taking a look at what's preventing me from doing what I WANT to do, and then trying to figure out what I need to do to fix it. The people I helped out, that are the basic reason for my problems right now... well they won't do anything to help, and quite frankly I doubt they even give a shit. So fuck them, I'm tired of being the "nice guy".

Anyways... later folks.

Working in SJ Today

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 14:47:03 GMT

Working in SJ today... the drive up... well... people drive like idiots. I was almost rear ended by the same guy 3 times!! Arriving into Saint John the slow lane came to a dead stop almost a few times... so the idiot behind couldn't see the 50 some cars infront of me that were stopped, so the 3 times I had to stop he had to pull over on the shoulder to avoid hitting me for fuck's sake. Not one of the times did I jam the brakes or anything.

Now my work is bugging me to go to Toronto... to install a program on a server... the thing is... I could connect to that box from my living room and haven't it done in 10 minutes max, but they want to fly me to TO to do it... and at the sametime they're trying to save money on me in other areas that are making my day to day job a living hell.

Anyways... weekend is almost here. That's enough bitching... for now.

Stunna Glasses

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 15:03:52 GMT

You can always count on your friends to keep you entertained. Click on it.

Saint John, Snow, Rain and other unpleasantness

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 13:49:44 GMT

Well... I haven't posted anything here in the last couple of days because... well I couldn't even access this place, and really... I wasn't putting much effort in trying either lol.

Drove in to Saint John today... starting snowing a little after I passed Salisbury... no salt on the highway... I could barely keep the car on the road at 60 km/h!!

After I hit Hampton the roads were good though... when I got into Saint John it was actually raining instead of snowing. So... great start to the day so far (where's the sarcasm button?), and if that wasn't bad enough... I have some other things I have to do today, that aren't really all that enjoyable. Anyways...

I'll be back later with other musings on life and such.

November already?

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 13:56:02 GMT

K... Halloween's over... I got two Trick or Treaters and now I have a butt load of candy left. When the second kid came to the door, I had a feeling that I wasn't going to get much more... so I dumped half the bowl of candy in the little girl's bag... she was dressed like a little dinosaur. It seemed to make her night, so at least there's that.

I guess Madison was sick after Trick or Treating last night... a flu or virus (isn't a flu caused by a virus?) is going through her daycare, so that's probably what it is. You know little kids... there just full of germs and stuff you don't want to think about.

I lost count of how many accidents I was almost in because of idiotic drivers over the weekend.

It's getting cold out... sucks.

Random Musings

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 17:29:26 GMT

K... I didn't know getting all set up to work from home would be such a headache. I should have known it sounded too simple. All of a sudden my manager had short term memory lost, and didn't know I was working from home anymore... and all of a sudden everything is getting complicated. My Team Lead (Sherry) reminded him of their conversation... and she told me yesterday that she is "giving up swearing"... I wonder how that is working out today! lol So yeah... I'm still working from home, that's not changing... but the specifics of how I get set up for certain things is all up in the air. Why? You guessed it... management is trying to save a few bucks.

It was kinda nice seeing everyone in Saint John yesterday... I think I hadn't been down there in over a month. Going to work in SJ again on Nov 3rd because Dan has to go to Toronto for some sort of IBM training. Well at least he's no longer a contractor... it sure took long enough for him to get hired on.

I'm helping Dad move some stuff on Sat... to get ready for the real move on Nov 1st (give or take a day or two). Now here is the usual place where someone would say "and I hate moving!!" or "I hate helping someone move!!"... but really... WHO LIKES MOVING?! No one... and if anyone actually likes the "act of moving" then they're sick in the head and should be avoided at all costs.

It seems that every now and then I write something here that seems to piss some people off (maybe it's just one, just trying to be vague), but they would sooner lie then actually admit they came here and read it. Now... here's the thing: If you're going to come here and get upset over what I have to say... then DON'T COME HERE to see what I'm saying. Kinda simple, if reading what I have to say upsets you, then don't come here and read it... and in the end you'll be much happier!! Sound advice if I ever heard any.

K... I have to go get some work done.

Nuff F'n Said.

Day's almost over...

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 19:27:35 GMT

Day's almost over... I'm tired... I want to go back to Moncton. I have to stop somewhere first to pick something up for someone...

I asked for Monday off... and got it Muahahahaha.

Working in Saint John Today

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 13:46:23 GMT

Read title... self explanatory.

The fog was kinda bad coming up... around Sussex. Anyways... off to work.

Weekend's here!!

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 14:33:18 GMT

It's Friday... extremely busy. Have to work in Saint John on Monday.

Later.

October 10th, 1996

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 01:22:38 GMT

The 10th year anniversary of my uncle's death just passed.

Guy LeBlanc was a teacher... and a friend to most. He was always making people laugh, and always looking out for other people instead of himself.

He contracted HIV, and later on full blown AIDS. He knew he was dying. So instead of just thinking of himself, he went to high schools and colleges throughout New Brunswick and spoke to kids about his disease and how it could have been avoided... and for them not to make the same mistakes he made. He answered all their questions no matter what they were, and answered them honestly.

During his last few years he didn't want the burden of his funeral arrangements on anyone else... so he made them himself. Even arranged a Catholic funeral even though he wasn't Catholic... he did it because that's what his parents would have wanted.

I spent a lot of time with him during his last few years. He was living in Montreal, but moved back here during the last few years of his life. He left quite an impression on everyone that's ever met him, and no one will ever forget him.

That's all I have to say right now...

Let's get serious for a sec.

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 00:50:36 GMT

I'll probably end up deleting this because I usually don't like putting personal stuff on here... but whatever.

Trust: Do you have any idea how important trust is? It's important in the two directions... being trusted, and trusting someone. Let's look at both.

Being Trusted: When someone trusts you... trusts you completly, it's awesome. No really... it is. You don't feel like you have to hide anything... you don't feel like you have to call up and explain everything you're doing. No check ups, ect, ect... ect. It's what any good relationship is based on, because if you're not trusted, you're going to be miserable. And a person doesn't have to come right out and say "I don't trust you!". You can just tell by the way they act, and the questions they ask you. Being totally trusted by your girlfriend/boyfriend is great. You can talk to whoever the hell you want, hang out with whoever the hell you want, ect, ect... because they KNOW they can trust you. If not.. you get a lot of questions... and the SAME questions will come up again and again and again... because they basically think you're lying, and if you're not... well then you feel kinda shitty because you know they don't trust you. That can be taken away pretty fucking quick if you start asking the wrong questions... if you don't trust someone, why be with them? If you make it known that you don't trust them... then they start hiding shit, because they don't want to deal with the headache of you freaking out for no apparent reason. Letting someone know you trust them can make all the difference in the world.

Trusting Someone: Now... letting someone know you trust them... and actually trusting them are two completly different things. Your mind can be your enemy sometimes. Asking yourself stupid questions like "Why didn't they call?", "Did they really go to bed or off talking to someone else?", ect, ect... An overactive mind sucks. You need to control those thoughts, otherwise you'll ruin the top part. Some people just don't trust anyone... but you have to put your trust in someone right? Of course. Life is to fucking short to be paranoid about everything.

Now me... I'm having problems trusting people. I know why... and it has nothing to do with how they're acting. It has to do with being burned in the past. I question all sorts of small little things... that I really shouldn't. This person has been nothing but honest with me, but for some reason sometimes I end up thinking they're not. I didn't have this problem before... but of course the person I thought was being totally honest with me wasn't... and it was a total fucking shock to the system about how much they were lying about, and for how long. I wouldn't have believed it unless I saw actual proof... because that's the way I was... trust that person unless shown undeniable proof... well I saw the proof... and being the dumbass that I was... I figured this can't be right... so I waited... and saw more proof. The trust was completly gone after that.

So now a completly different person... that hasn't given me a single sign that I shouldn't trust them... and my mind is still asking those stupid questions. Now... this isn't a "Please feel sorry for me post". No no... leave that shit at the door. First off the good news is: Those questions my mind keeps bringing up? Well that's were I left them. Kinda forcing myself to think before opening my mouth. Guess what? Every single time that I had doubts in the back of my mind, I had no reason for it.

Because first off... if I did say something... certain things can show the other person that you don't trust them... and that is a fucking shitty feeling to give someone, especially when there's no reason for it.

Secondly - not trusting someone just fucking sucks. I know the reason, and it has nothing to do with her... so don't treat her like shit for something she hasn't done. Right? Fucking right.

So... what have we learned? I dunno. If anyone reads this, and gets anything good out of it then great. If anyone reads this and thinks it's dumb... go find a bridge. The fact that I know why I'm thinking about all those "stupid questions" is a good sign. Some people don't even realize why they're like that... at least I do, or I convinced myself that I do. Either way, I think I'm going in the right direction.

Anyone who knows me personally... that reads this... and wants to know what exactly happened... Mind your own fucking business why don't ya? In other words: Don't Ask.

So... on those happy notes....

Nuff F'n Said

P.S. Writing this all out actually put me in a pretty good mood. HA!

Back to Work

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 22:18:18 GMT

My Mini-Vacation is over... back to work tomorrow. The Telephone Guy is coming tomorrow afternoon to put in a second phone line for work . I'm guessing if my boss was only thinking that me working from home was temporary, he wouldn't be paying to get a second phone line installed at my appartment now would he?

Last night was kinda boring... everyone was working this morning... so around 10:00PM I was bored out of my mind... the cure? I got some munchies and watched Dawn of the Dead (remake) with my surround sound . I don't care what anyone says... it IS possible to like the original and the remake. Look at me. Loved it. There were a lot of things in it that I had forgotten about.

Well anyways... I gotta go mail some stuff out.

Nuff F'n Said...

Slow start...

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 17:31:34 GMT

K... it's like 2:30 and I'm only getting out of the shower now... that probably has to do with the fact that I only got out of bed at 1:00PM... which has to do with the fact that I only WENT to bed at 4:00AM.

Anyways.... Sister, JM, Dan and his girlfriend came over last night. Had a few drinks... a few laughs... blah blah blah....

Friday night was Carrie's birthday and we ended up only going to bed around 4:00AM again...

So all things concidered I think it's pretty good that I'm awake and showed at 2:30 in the afternoon.

Anyways... no time for this... have to hit the drive-thru at Tim Horton's for some "life blood".

Nuff F'n Said for now....

Vacation

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 15:06:50 GMT

I just realized this morning that I didn't really take any vacation this year. I took 2 days off because I needed to do some things... then I took 2 other days off with Carrie... not even 2 days in a row... a few weeks seperated them. So... I have 11 days left, and it's already October.

I really don't know what to do... taking a week off would actually suck. I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

I just e-mailed my Team Lead asking if I could have this Monday off... just because. Another long weekend would be nice... I'll probably end up doing nothing, but meh... Kevin might be back from California by then... I'm not sure when he was coming back. I know he is suppose to drop down in one of those shark cages tomorrow with a Great White Shark!! He even made a "preview" trailer for the big event. Check it out here.

It's also Carrie's birthday tomorrow. I've never mentioned much about Carrie on here... she's my "girlfriend". I got her something, and it wasn't easy because... well... we're not exactly a traditional couple. We enjoy each others company... and... umm... yeah... that's the extent of it. The "L" word has never been mentioned by either one of us... and probably won't anytime soon. Not because we don't care... it has more to do with what we've both been through seperately... and it umm.. it just doesn't seem right to even say it. It's not that we don't like being with each other. We're best friends, we enjoy each other's company... and we both don't have plans to take it any further anytime soon. I don't think either one of us is ready for anything other then that. So anyways... I think I found a few things that I know she wanted, and didn't go overboard either (money wyse).

Just got a reply back from my Team Lead... after seeing I still had 11 days off this year... she said I could have Monday off... and tomorrow off to if I wanted!! WHOOHOO!!! 4 day weekend!!

Ok this post turned out kinda serious and shit... I'll make another post a little later about Comic Books, Toys or Movies or something like that... maybe all of the above lol.

Crap...

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 12:12:16 GMT

Thanksgiving weekend is over... and I think I caught something. My throat feels all fucking raw this morning. Haven't even had a smoke yet this morning .

Watched Heroes last night. I think the show is getting better and better... it was the 3rd show, and things are getting very interesting. The show itself is obviously inspired by comic books, even the fonts for the beginning credits are in a comic book style. The story itself revolves around serveral people who suddenly discover they have "super powers"... but it seems at least one of them seems to be a bit psychotic... as in going on a little killing spree... and we find out this episode that it looks like this guy is targetting other people with superpowers. I find the show itself reminds me a lot of (or borrows from) Rising Stars, Supreme Power (Squadron Supreme) and Watchmen (just a little). All comic books with super-heroes set in a "real world" setting.

Went to Mom's last night for Turkey dinner and brought home a little bit of leftovers... it was awesome... I still feel stuffed.

Crap my throat is starting to feel worse... and I need a cigarette.

Dropped in to see dad last night too... not much new, but talked for a bit.

I need to get a new car wiper.

Fuck it... I'm going for a smoke.

Mornin... ugh...

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 12:46:21 GMT

Uh... wtf?

Mornin... tired.

Must turn coffee maker on.

Can't sleep

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 04:11:42 GMT

It's 1:00AM and I can't sleep.

Having a smoke.

I should be dead tired right now... don't know why I'm not.

No one is online... if they are, they're hiding.

Long weekend coming up... that's not bad. Not sure what I'll be doing.

Probably see The Departed this weekend...

Mmm... various things on my mind... maybe that's why I can't sleep.

K... finishing smoke and going to try to sleep again.

4 8 15 16 23 42

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 23:30:55 GMT

Tonight at 10:00PM. If you don't know what I'm talking about, just continue on with your life...

Working from home... full time!

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 19:43:08 GMT

K... so... quick explanation again... I work for "Company A"... and we do IT work for "Company B". Got it? Good. I've been working onsite at one of Company B's Moncton locations since I moved back in November... a few months ago they laid off a whole wack load of people, pretty much clearing out over half the building. So rumors started that the rest of the employees were going to move to a smaller building and they're would be no room for me. My management at Company A wasn't giving me straight answers as to what would happen if I couldn't have a desk with them... and Company B wasn't saying anything. So I find out at the last minute that I can stay, because they're stuck in a 2 year lease...

That was a few months ago. This past Monday one of the managers at Company B e-mails my supervisor telling her that they've rented out the second floor of the building to another department... and... you guessed it... no room for me again!! ARRRGGGGHHHH Oh... and the best part... that department is moving in within a week. You can't tell me this was a last minute decision... I know how moves for departments in this company, because I've been doing support work for them for over 7 years now. Anyways...

As you can guess by the title, it looks like I'll be working from home full time now. Getting a phone line installed at the company's expense and whatnot. I think it'll be good. I think... yeah sure it'll be. Just have to re-organize some stuff around here to make a better work invironment and all that shit.

So yeah... I could become a professional hermit.

(spelling mistakes? You betcha!!)

4 8 15 16 23 42

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 20:41:38 GMT

Watched Season 1 and 2 of LOST in like 3 weeks. Wow... never watched the show before, but after seeing the first episode I couldn't stop watching it. Can't wait for Season 3 to start now.

I thought the show was just about a bunch of people lost on an island. It's more of a Sci-Fi, or Fantasy type show. Mysteries everywhere... cliff hangers galore... great characters... great dialogue... smart plot.

Weekend's over...

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 01:25:34 GMT

Awesome... worse weekend in recent memory is finally over... let's see if I can work something out to make next week better.

The Weekend is off to a great start...

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 21:51:51 GMT

Wow... sometimes without warning life can come right up to you and give you a swift kick in the balls.

Nuff F'n Said

Working in SJ again...

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 15:48:13 GMT

In SJ again today... bleh.

Anyways... Dad came over last night for supper and to watch a movie. I think it's only the second time he's come over since I've moved. That doesn't mean anything... just that I usually go to his place to see him. That and he's usually busy coaching softball and stuff like that anyways.

Holy crap people have been getting on my nerves lately. I don't know if they have "superiotiy complexes" or what. I can't stand people who always think they're better then everyone else... or that they are ALWAYS right... and if they're proven wrong it's almost the end of the world. When they do or say something stupid, you have to think twice before saying anything about it... because if you do you'll have all sorts of drama to deal with after. God damn it's annoying.

... but of course I'm one to talk... I'm of the belief that about 90% of the people I meet are stupid. I must be a hypocrite. For example on the highway I must have uttered the word "idiot" under my breath at about 30 cars this morning. What's the deal with these people anyways? They get up late for work, so they figure it's a good reason to risk they're lives and everyone else's on the highway to try and get there on time? People cutting each other off at 140 Km/h... tailgatting... driving all over the road. Being on the highway first thing in the morning is NOT a good way to start off your day. Oh... and the "passing lane"... is that such a hard concept to grasp? You may think I'm exagerating, but obviously a lot of people out there do not understand the concept of a "passing lane". You pass a car... you go back in the right-hand lane after... complicated? Doesn't seem to be. And yet some people seem to have the need to STAY IN THE LEFT HAND LANE NO MATTER WHAT!! I especially hate the ones that drive under the speed-limit... in the passing lane... next to ANOTHER car in the RIGHT HAND LANE going the exact same speed. It's like those Pace Cars at the Indy 500... you have to keep your speed down and behind the Pace Car untill they give you the go ahead... except this isn't a race with an accident on the track waiting to get cleared... this is just some asshole talking on his god damn cell phone while the people behind him are uttering the word "idiot" under they're breath... chances are they're uttering something worse then the word idiot, but you get the idea. I utter the good old MF word a lot while driving... but man... some people are just.... oh whatever.

Ok... like most times I'm asked to come to Saint John to work... it's dead. I'm hardly needed here and would have been able to do my job from Moncton as usual. Bah.

That's enough complaining for now.

Working from home

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 11:53:03 GMT

My Team Lead had mentioned that she doesn't see why I don't work from home sometimes, especially now that I'm working on these projects... so yesterday I worked from home.

It was awesome. I got an extra hour's sleep... I just had shorts and a t-shirt on... no one bugged me... and I think I actually got more work done then I usually do.

I actually can't think of any good reason to come in the office to work really... but I don't want to push it. I'll might come in here most mornings... maybe some full days... but I think I'll work from home every Friday for sure .

Well for now... nuff f'n said.

Working in Saint John Today....

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 17:34:44 GMT

Working in Saint John today... usually bums me out being here... except today...

My supervisor/team lead/boss... ect... took me in a little meeting and told me that I'm going to have even more projects to do then before, and all sorts of stuff... and basically dealing less with the customers... and because of this... she told me "Ya know... there's really no reason why you can't just work from home." Work from home you say? MUAHAHAHAHAHA

I think I actually love my job... but.... don't tell anyone!!

At least the week will end on a somewhat good note.

Ok... other then that, well... nothing I want to talk about on here... but... just a reminder to anyone reading this: You just never know when you'll see someone for the LAST time. Don't wait till it's too late for unresolved issues and things left unsaid. Time goes by so fast, and anything can happen in this world.

There that was a happy note to end things on wasn't it?

Blah... weekend is almost here!

Nuff F'n Said

Another Wedding

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 12:53:02 GMT

K... went to a wedding last Friday... got another wedding to go to tomorrow. Think it's the last one I have to go to this year... fingers crossed.

Mom pointed out that it's my future Step-Brother that's getting married. That sounded very odd... I'm going to have a Step-Brother... does that mean his wife is going to be my Step-Sister-Inlaw? Oh... and going to have a Step-Sister too... I don't know why I never thought of that before. Mom and Raymond have been engaged for over a year now (getting married next summer.... yay... another wedding) and I never thought about the ramifications of the whole step-siblings thing. No one consulted me on this. I think I'm still going to be the oldest... I think... it's close if I'm not... and either way does anyone actually care?

Raymond has been in Alberta for the last 3 weeks working... he arrives tonight. Mom is going to pick him up at the airport around Midnight I do believe... she doesn't like driving from St. Antoine to Moncton at night, so she's coming over earlier at my place till she has to go to the airport. Mmm... gotta clean the apartment a bit when I get home I suppose.

There are things that I would be perfectly content with NEVER seeing untill the day I die... that I end up seeing because of Kevin... I won't go into details... just never click on a link that he sends you, and keep an eye on him when he has the remotte control...

The wedding last Friday was kinda fun... probably because I didn't actually go to church and only the reception. Saw a ton of people I hadn't seen in YEARS... and I was happy to see most of them. I also saw some people that were a total shock... one in particular that I didn't think had any connection to the people getting married, so I wasn't expecting to see them... and the weird part is... I haven't seen this person in at least 6 years, and we were talking about them no less then a week ago... the old "I wonder where's (insert name here) is now?"... maybe I'm Psychic... or Psycho... or whatever.

I still have a box or two left to go through that I can't seem to get to... last night I put the boxes in the middle of the living room thinking this would remind me (or force me) later to go through it. Nope... meh.

Need a smoke.

In Saint John today

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 14:13:44 GMT

All week I've been going through the boxes that I haven't touched since I moved. I cannot belive how much stuff I threw out. Papers, receipts for stuff I don't even have anymore... paystubs from 7 years ago... bank statements from 7 years go... ect.. ect... unbelivable... but of course I had to go through everything to make sure I wasn't throwing something out that I needed. Oh... and now I have a shitload of lighters at my disposal. Oh... and yes... I did shred all those documents before throwing them out.

It's kinda nice... you can actually see my bedroom floor now... I wanted to get the spare room done to... but I've honestly been doing this every night since Tuesday untill 11:00PM and didn't have a chance to touch the spare room yet.

Not going to do it tonight either... I have to drive straight home as soon as I can get out of here... in Saint John... drive home... take a shower... drop something off at the Post Office... go to Memramcook for a wedding... can't drive after because I'll probably be drinking, so I won't be back till Saturday.

I have no life... and yet it seems I don't have enough time to get everything I want done. Makes no sense.

Random Stuff Since Last Time.

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 13:17:07 GMT

Saw Pirates of the Carribean Saturday.... don't anyone bitch and complain, I called a couple of people to go and you didn't answer your phone. Well... it was last minute... but still... I don't know everyone's schedule by heart so screw off before complaining.

Sunday... boy was Sunday ever fun. I rear ended a car... yes I did. No damage to either of the cars, but I had to wait there till the Police showed up because "someone" was FREAKING out and called them. It's a good thing I'm a patient person. I was in the wrong and blah blah blah... but "someone" jamed on the breaks, and whatever... everyone was ok, but the cops HAD to be called... why? I don't know... the cops couldn't even figure that one out.

So the cops show up... look at the car... and say "Ummm... we only file a report if there's over $1,000.00 damage... I don't see ANY damage... was anyone hurt? No? Uh... ok then...." So he had to run our plates... check our registrations... check our licenses... blah blah blah... wasted AT LEAST an hour... maybe more... not sure... wanna know what wasted most of the rest of my day? I got stung by a bee... or something like a bee... I'm not 100% sure... all I know... is that my finger hurt like HELL when it happened... AND my finger swelled up to the point that I could hardly even bend it. That was a little freaky... my index finger.

In all this melay, Jacques dropped in with Star and his son... first time he's seen my place since I moved back to Moncton. The poor bastard is getting married on Friday.

Yeah... I can move my finger again... enough for now.

Going to SJ tomorrow and Monday

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 12:38:05 GMT

Not much to say... going to Saint John tomorrow and Monday.

The past year hasn't been all that great. It's hard to talk about things on here without it coming accross as "feeling sorry for myself", so usually I don't post anything personal here.

Lately I can't stand being around people... anyone, doesn't matter who. I'm not depressed however. I feel perfectly content in being alone in my apartment. I have plenty to keep me occupied. I still have boxes I haven't unpacked yet because I didn't want to go through them. I have so many things to re-organize too... been trying to get that done, but it's not going very fast.... feels like I don't have enough time to get everything done. So yeah... I'm not depressed, or anything like that... don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. Not looking for attention, so don't ask "are you ok?" because I might tell you to fuck off or something.

Things never turn out the way you thought they would... sometimes you can't plan a year in advance... sometimes you can't plan a week in advance... or even 24 hours for that matter. Got to roll with the punches and move on. Sometimes it's easier said then done. I don't know what the secret of moving on is... even if there is one, I don't know. I had a good idea of where I was going to be in 5 years... 10 years... 20 years... I had a plan... a goal... an idea... whatever you want to call it.

All that is gone now (Boohoo, feel sorry for me yet?). That's not so easy to accept sometimes. It can become overwhelming when you had all these plans for the future, and then all of a sudden you don't know what you'll be doing next month, nevermind about the next 20 years. You can feel lost with no direction and whatnot. Gotta come up with new goals I guess... a new plan. Bah... don't fucking feel like it yet.

Actually that's a lie... I have thought of a few things. Things that don't depend on "someone else being there" (don't want to make that sound bitter). Slowly working towards those... it's not much, but it's a start. Gotta have goals... like beating Resident Evil 4 for the third time lol. Bah... fuck it... I thought it was funny.

The "few things" I thought of is nothing major. Just little things I'm working on to make my life better... either for the near future, or for later on in life. Afterall life goes on... and bla bla bla... So all is not lost... can't dwell on the things you've lost... have to think about the things you have, and the things you can work towards... all the rest is a waste of time. Dwelling on things you can't change doesn't solve anything.

Mmm... yeah that's enough.

FINALLY!!!

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 14:07:39 GMT

Finally found out today that next week I'll be working here untill further notice. The rest of the people in this building aren't moving any time soon. I feel a little less stressed out now.

Back from Mom's

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 23:18:25 GMT

My mom worries most about me when... I tell her "Nothing is wrong." lol

Random Thoughts

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 18:43:00 GMT

I have very little respect for people who try to manipulate me to get what they want.

You can try to be as honest as you want, but some people will only hear what they want to hear.

It's easier to forgive someone that's hurt you, but didn't mean to... it's harder to forgive someone that hurt you when that was their goal. (I actually see no point in forgiving those people, or acknowledging their existence).

It's easy to be a "good person" when nothing bad happens to you... not so easy when shit happens. When emotions are involved, sometimes you'll see the ugly side of a person... and then it's hard to see what you liked about them originally.

There are very few people in my life that have hurt me that I haven't fogiven. I can only think of one person that I haven't forgiven... but it's mostly because that person doesn't give a shit about what they've done, and who they've hurt. In fact I don't think that person has ever even put enough thought in what they did to truly realize the damage they've done to the people around them. I actually don't think I've ever heard this person say the word "sorry" for anything. People will pass away with unresolved issues lingerering, and this mess... this shit-storm they've unleashed on their "loved ones" will be remembered as their legacy. And yet this doesn't seem to bother this person... I actually think this person thinks they're right... and everyone else around them is to blame for this mess. Some who don't know everyting might say... "Well... they'll realize what they've done... and soon enough things will go back to the way things were." Problem is... the "way things were" is how they are now. Some people are beyond hope. You either put up with them, or don't let them in your lives. Sometimes either one is not easy. Especially when they still make the lives of people you care about a living hell. People you care about that can't help themselves, and you can't be their for them 24/7.

Wow... ok enough of that... some people who read this will know who I'm talking about. I've only ever really hated one person my entire life, and that's the person.

My random thoughts ended up being a rant about some stuff that has bothered me for years. I don't know if most people have someone like that in their lives... maybe some people are just better at hiding it... or moving on. Then maybe some people don't have anyone like that. I dunno.

On the other side of the coin... I've been thinking about my uncle Guy lately. I don't know what triggered it... maybe when you think about bad people, you end up thinking about the good people you've known. My Uncle Guy was by no means a Saint lol. I've heard too many stories about what he did when he was young, and partying and what not. And besides... I don't think "people like him" are ever concidered for Sainthood LOL. Guy however, was one of the truly amazing people you never forget. He faced things in his life that most people will never have to face... and the way he handeled it was amazing. He was put in a situation where most people would have just thought of themselves... and yet he thought of others. Not just his family... not just his friends... but people he had never met. He wanted to make sure that what happened to him, wouldn't happen to someone else. I miss him. Anyone that has ever met him, will never forget him. That is for certain.

Ok... enough of this random shit... I'm off to see Mom and Sis.

11 Days and counting...

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 01:28:51 GMT

Me: "So... umm... any word yet on what's going on?"

Manager: "No word... no need to start worrying yet."

Yet? WTF? At least tell me if worse comes to worse I can work from home.

Where am I working in 12 days?!

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 19:40:38 GMT

Wow... this makes no sense how much it sucks. I still don't know where I'll be working in 12 days... I hear a lot of rumors, none of wich I'm particularly pleased of... and some of wich down right just piss me off... but when I ask, all I get is "Oh don't worry... we'll figure something out..." Oh really? WHEN? It's in 12 fucking days! Not 12 work days... 12 days Jackass!

Concidering the fact that it's been pointed out to me that someone that works in Saint John actually travels back and forth from Shediac everyday is NOT a good sign. First of all I don't care if there's 10 people that work in Saint John and travel back and forth from Moncton 7 days a week. That's their problem, not mine. Just because someone is stupid enough to do something like that, doesn't make it right to ask people to do it. I do NOT want to spend close to 3 hours a day on the road. No... I don't think so.

What happens if they don't give me any options? Move back to Shit-John?! Look for another job after finally getting paid what I actually think I deserve after busting my ass for 7 years? FAAAWWWWWKKKKK!!!!

This has been going on since last week... but the "shit hit the fan" on Wednesday, and it's been shitty since then. One of the manager's here said something, that quite frankly he should have kept to himself, about my future in Moncton... and ever since then I haven't been able to get a straight answer out of ANYONE! Not the managers here... not my manager... not my supervisor... NOBODY knows where I'm going to work, or what's going to happen to me. IT FUCKING BLOWS!

There... yes I ranted and complained... who cares. I've been pissed off for a week now, and still can't get any answers from anyone, so I'll complain if I want.

I'm tired...

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 19:34:30 GMT

Didn't sleep well... I'm tired. Gotta work from Saint John tomorrow, and Thursday. BOO!!

This time it's because they're going to be short 2 people, so I kinda have to leave extra early to "try" and be in SJ by 8:00-8:30...

I want a vacation.

7 Years

Fri, 23 Jun 2006 19:44:30 GMT

Just got an e-mail from some High Poot-n-Toot for the company I work for... congratulating me, because today is my anniversary... 7 years I've been with this company.... THAT IS JUST INSANE. It doesn't feel like 7 years... crazy.

More changes... boo!!!

Fri, 23 Jun 2006 19:00:55 GMT

K... without going into to many details. I basically work for this company (Company A) that does IT Support for this OTHER Company (Company B).

Company B has offices all over the place... I used to do my job in Saint John, but got the chance to move to Moncton to do the same job here in Company B's Moncton Branch. Yesterday afternoon they announced that they are CLOSING the Moncton Branch in 3 weeks!! Bunch of people lost their jobs... today has not been a fun day working here. Just depressing... most of them have been with Company B for over 10 years.

Anyways... where does that leave me? Well... I work for Company A... so I'm not getting laid off... but this office is being closed... so... where the fuck am I going to be working? Ya know what? NO ONE HAS ANY ANSWERS FOR ME AND THEY'RE CLOSING THE OFFICE IN 3 WEEKS!!!

But really... I know I'm not loosing my job, I just don't know exactly WHERE I'll be working in 3 weeks... if anyone asks me to move back to Saint John... well... they better not ask because that is NOT happening.

I'm not that pissed off... how can I be? I know I'll still have a job in 3 weeks, and I'm surrounded by people who found out yesterday after 10 + years that their being laid off (one of them has been with Company B for 20 years). So no... no pissed off... because things could be WAY worse... I just have to look around me to be reminded of that. I'd just like to know where I'll be parking my ass in 3 weeks.

So... with that said, enjoy the weekend!! I'm going out or something.

The last 24 hours..

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 17:09:37 GMT

The last 24 hours have just sucked. No one to blame for it either except myself.

Monday Ramblings

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 19:54:31 GMT

It's Monday... and I'm tired and cranky. Today was busy (like every Monday). I have to figure out what to get for my dad for Father's Day. My dad is the type of person, that if he wants something, he just buys it right away... which makes it hard to get him ANYTHING for most occasions.

The weekend was fun for the most part, except for a few minor bumps on the road of life. Nothing major, I'll survive.

Awesome Day!!

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 16:20:26 GMT

Having an awesome day so far... got some great news... wich I can't really go into , but it's AWESOME news... so yeah... try to share my joy even if I'm not going to tell you what it is LOL. Odd that I get this news on 06/06/06... hope it's not a big set up! LOL

Saint John so far...

Wed, 31 May 2006 15:06:58 GMT

So far extremly busy... we're helping the US with their Problem Queue (because they're not as good as us of course) and it feels like it's neverending. At least I get my cell back today.

More later...

Saint John Tomorrow

Tue, 30 May 2006 18:59:26 GMT

Aliant called me saying my cell phone was fixed... they told me it was going to take 6-8 weeks... it took like a week. Anyways... because of this I'm asked if I can work from SJ tomorrow, and pick up the cell phone. Don't know why I dropped it off in Saint John... it was when me and Dan got back from Quebec, I was in Saint John and stopped at Aliant (in the mall) where I bought the thing. Anyways... it's all fixed now, so I'm getting it back!! WHOOHOO!!

I used to hate people with cell phones... and refused to get one for YEARS just because I didn't want people to be able to contact me 24/7. Thought it was dumb to have one. Now that I got used to having one... it bugged me to have "the loaner" one till mine was fixed, and I'm actually happy to getting it back. I'm ashamed.

Nuff F'n Said

On the road again...

Wed, 24 May 2006 19:13:05 GMT

Ok... actually it isn't as bad as last week, I'm just going to Saint-John for work tomorrow. Other then that... not much is new... found out today that Jen is done work for now (Maternity Leave), and I'm going to get to meet the new folks at the Help Desk and Deskside... if there's any I didn't meet yet, I'm loosing track of who was hired on and who was just there to help out with the rollout (the stuff I was doing in Quebec). The fact that I'm terrible with names and remembering faces also doesn't help much. Oh well...

Taped Stephen King's Desperation last night... it was 3 hours long, so I didn't really want to stay up to watch it... watch it on the weekend and fast forward the commercials.

X-Men: The Last Stand starts in 2 days!

Nuff F'n Said...

Deleted Post

Tue, 23 May 2006 17:24:23 GMT

I had a long post here this morning... it was basically me ranting and raving about shit. Then I deleted it... made it look like I felt sorry for myself or something and I didn't like that. Meh. I don't feel sorry for myself... but I do feel pissed off.

Ever feel pissed off, but you can't put your finger on the exact reason why? I thought I knew why this morning... then the more I thought about it... the more I don't think it's that. First off I shouldn't be spending so much time thinking about shit like that...

I think I might be angry that I'm letting certain things get to me... things that I don't have any control over, and that I really have no say in it to begin with.

When I say pissed off or angry, I don't mean I'm punching holes in walls... I'm just not very enjoyable to be around right now. I never fly off the handle at people who don't deserve it or anything like that.

It would be nice to get the hell away from here for a while... but I've been saying that for months now and I don't do anything about it.

Ok... self-pity time is over... back to your regularly scheduled program.

Nuff F'n Said

Quote

Tue, 23 May 2006 13:57:17 GMT

"Hell's waking up every goddamn day and not even knowing why you're here."

Marv, Sin City (2005)

Sunday Night

Mon, 22 May 2006 20:12:27 GMT

Sunday Night: Kevin, Jean-Marc, Carrie, Tony and Rachel came over and we had a few drinks... ended up watching hockey even though Kevin is the only one who actually follows hockey... HOWEVER... watching "Kevin watch hockey" is entertainment on it's own! It still boggles the mind however, how Kevin can say the shit he says, and not get punched by any of the girls... yet alone have a girlfriend. I've never seen anyone else that can get away with saying pretty much ANYTHING like Kev. It's amazing... he should write a book. lol

Nuff F'n Said